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£500 – or nearest offer will secure the deal. Phone: 07727248183
MARK GUIDI
Despite a 2-0 win at Easter Road, Mark Celtic-Boys-Club Guidi, in writing about the Gers’ win, still managed to go over the top with his criticism....no surprise there then! In my own review of that game, in 90 Minutes, I have admitted that we did not play well but some of Guidi’s comments are just absurd. For example, his opening sentence is “ This was probably Rangers’ worst performance of the season.....” Where has Fat Bhoy been recently? Gers fans have suffered much worse than this in the past few weeks. Even some of our earlier displays at the start of the season have been worse. As long as we don’t get any worse than the Easter Road performance, things can’t be too bad right now.
ROGER BAILLIE
This donkey hasn’t appeared in the Order very often which is strange because he really is hopeless as a reporter of the facts, let alone any sensible opinions. Driving home from Ibrox after the win against the Pars I heard this idiot claim that he couldn’t understand why Aluko had been awarded the Man of the Match. He claimed that Aluko had made a couple of turns / runs and...that was it!!!! This guy in my opinion, and those Bears around me, was easily the best player on the park. He was one of the few bright spots in what became a dreary match. From the first minute, when he set up Jelavic with a chance, he ran at the opposition and dribbled past guys for fun. It was the type of display Gers fans have been craving all season. At last, we were thinking, we have someone to terrify the opposition and set up chances from the wing. The fans were audibly excited every time he got the ball. Baillie also opined that Gers were “very poor” and that the Pars could have equalised in the 88th minute. True...but he failed to mention that, by that time, Gers should have been about 6-1 up! Whatever that guy was drinking in the Main Stand, I’d like some of.
GRAHAM SPIERS
Surprisingly, it’s been a while since the bould bhoy appeared in the Order. He obviously hasn’t annoyed me as much as he normally does. Maybe he’s been keeping a lower profile – although writing for the Scottish edition of The Times ( circulation around 17,000) can’t give you a much lower profile than that! On the RC phone-in tonight, he was in total agreement with some Celtic fan who was complaining about the “persecution” of the Green Brigade at Parkhead. Creep Spiers sympathised and came out with the astonishing claim that in 6 or 7 visits to Parkhead this season he has NEVER heard the Green Brigade chanting / singing anything bigoted or offensive!!!!! Talk about selective hearing! I suppose HE thinks that The Boys of the Old Brigade is about the BB? A couple of years ago this hearing defect manifested itself at a Gers v Dons match at Ibrox when Creep was the only “man” in the stadium that thought the Sheep fans were singing “Nice one, Jimmy!” (Calderwood was their manager at that time and Gers were winning 4-0) The rest of us knew that they were really singing “ Nice one, Simmy” – for obvious reasons. Tonight, he finished his defence of the indefensible by stating that he didn’t know “where all this nonsense” ( ie reporting the Green Brigade) had come from! How about the senior police officer at Parkhead the other week? How about those of us who don’t employ selective hearing? And THIS is the guy who did his best to get Gers fans into trouble with UEFA over “bigoted chanting” – his ears obviously work better abroad. Maybe it’s time HE did.
PHIL BARDSLEY
The Sunderland and Scotland full back ( and former loan Ranger) makes his first ( and probably only) appearance in The Order. This is for his comments to the Record regarding the possibility of Celtic signing has-been ( and never-really-was) former team-mate, Bolo Zenden. Sunderland let this guy go at the end of the season – and he still hasn’t found a club willing to take a chance on him at the age of 35. Now Celtic ‘s having a look at him in training. It’s the type of Ljunberg signing that all Gers fans will hope takes place! However, back to Bardsley; he’s quoted thus: “ He’s still a great player. We were disappointed not to keep him at Sunderland.” Eh? The club gave HIM the chop, so he wasn’t wanted so why would the club be disappointed? Then his best comes last: Celtic could land Zenden for nothing but Bardsley “ is convinced that he’d still command a big transfer fee if he was under contract”!!!!! How about that for logic? Come back to Planet Earth! The guy hasn’t been able to get a club since August when he can be got for FREE but Bardsley thinks he’d go for millions IF he was under contract! Stick to kicking forwards, Phil.
MARK GUIDI
Another appearance this season already for old “favourite” of the Order, Mark Celtic-Boys-Club Guidi. As I drove home from Ibrox, I listened to this guy on the RC phone-in booting the boot into Ally and virtually calling for his head. According to Guidi, the players showed a lack of “commitment” and “energy” against the Dons, there was “something seriously wrong at Ibrox” and not one of the Rangers players got pass marks from Guidi. He obviously ignored big Goian looking like Terry Butcher in his hey-day before he had to go off after being clattered by a Dons player. He seemingly didn’t notice McGregor making 3 great saves with the score at 1-0. He ignored Bocanegra trying to hold a makeshift defence together during the second half.
Even worse he compared McCoist’s short reign with Walter’s and claimed that he didn’t have the respect of the players in the same way. He also wrongly claimed that the team wasn’t “organised” and had no “plan” – unlike Walter’s teams. According to Guidi, Jelavic looked “uninterested” and was “lazy” as if “he didn’t want to be at Ibrox”. Let’s get this straight, Jelavic had a poor game and hasn’t hit form this season but that is all it is. He is still trying and working hard but his touch isn’t there yet and things just aren’t coming off for him. Guidi is just trying to stir things with his comments.
The observant Guidi failed to mention that as the second half started against the Dons, Gers were missing THREE central defenders and TWO left backs. I’d like to see any other SPL side cope with that. Guidi, though, was intent on blaming Ally for everything – a strange reversal of how he supported Loser Lenny last season.
I hope Ally gets to hear of Guidi’s comments and opinions on him and makes it clear that Guidi and his rag, The Sunday Mail, will get no co-operation from him or Gers for the foreseeable future. Don’t let them away with such mischief-making.
DECLAN
Never heard of Declan? Then obviously you haven’t spent any time recently in a mental asylum! I love listening to the radio phone-in shows after a shock Celtic defeat. For a few days after it’s pure comedy gold. Declan was a caller on the RC phone-in and no doubt had Bears like me falling off our seats with laughter while his slightly less paranoid Celtic mates were probably cringing as never before - or maybe not.Right from the start of the call, we could tell by the tone of his voice he was VERY upset. Just what had caused this? Loser Lennon? Pathetic defending from the Parkhead side? Biased refereeing? None of the above. He was on to tell us all about the dark “conspiracy” in Scottish football and was wondering why the hacks etc were not talking about it. The source of this “conspiracy” he claimed was the ex-Rangers who were now managing Motherwell, St Johnstone and ICT. According to our Declan, these managers were sending their sides out to “lie down” when they played Gers and to “put the boot in” when they played the mighty Celtic. I was amazed that even Delahunt and co gave him so much air time. In fact he got off pretty lightly considering what he was saying. It was only after he had gone, that Dalziel thought to mention that ICT had actually beaten Gers at Ibrox a year or so ago. Or that St Johnstone tanked Gers 4-1 at McDiarmid Park last season. Still, I suppose it wouldn’t have made any difference to Declan had they mentioned such things to him. He’s own his planet with his paranoia being fed by Lawwell and co at every opportunity.
HUGH KEEVINS / MARK GUIDI
The 2 Celtic fans with laptops make the season’s first entry. After the “sensational” news that HMRC sent guys to Ibrox yesterday ( see Bear Talk for the truth) these two idiots were on the RC phone-in claiming that Gers might have to sell a player to pay the HMRC tax bill of £2.8 million. The 2 hopeful Celts said that Craig Whyte just might have to take such a course. Doh! It’s common knowledge that Ally has £5 million to spend. Thus far, we have spent a net half a million so if the worst came to the worst, we simply don’t BUY another player. It’s all nonsense anyway because as I pointed out in Bear Talk, part of the Murray / Whyte deal was that Whyte would pay that £2.8 million instead of giving Murray £6 million for his shares. Plus, prior to that, Gers fans were told by previous Chairman Johnston in January that the club had made £12 million profit and that £3 million had been set aside for this tax bill. So, where’s the crisis? Answer – the one made up by Celtic fans like Keevins and Guidi.
THE SPORTSCENE “TEAM” - IN HOOPS
Well, this is a first for the Order as I nominate the entire production staff of “Sportscene” plus the front of camera trio of Sheepshagger and serial Gers-hater, Rob McLean, Celtic fhan Nevin and arch-traitor Dodds for their pathetic display on the Beeb’s highlights show of the Old Firm match.
First, in the very-edited highlights they managed to make the first half look as if their favourites, Celtic dominated the game, showing us just about everything they did and as little as possible of the Gers’ good moves. They didn’t even show the disgraceful Ki studs on Lafferty’s ankle in the first minute. Then, in the discussion after the highlights the panel concentrated on showing us all the Celtic chances and penalty claims but only one Gers bit of action when Papac was pushed for a stonewall penalty that crapbag Dodds could barely bring himself to say WAS one. You know the drill “”Er...welll..Brown puts a hand on Papac...maybe a push..he goes down...but not enough to get a penalty”. At least these 3 anti-Gers guys admitted the pen WASN’T one and neither was the early Ledley claim when he simply ran into Whittaker. Strangely, or maybe not, Nevin thought that the Stokes dive that earned a booking WAS a pen when the pictures clearly show he dived. But hey, that’s the Celtic way.....call black, white and often enough and mugs will believe you even as your eyes are telling you different.
They even cut the footage to show the 2 managers’ comments at their Press conferences with Walter getting in a wee dig at Celtic’s anti-referee campaign for pens etc bearing fruit with a non-penalty being given and 2 other occasions when Celtic players just ran into their opponents. Hooray!!!! When the “gentlemen” of the Press told Lennon that, as usual, with his classic style and dignity he called that “nonsense” and brought up the Broadfoot pen at Parkhead. Nothing like being diplomatic and...well...he wasn’t. Time Walter had a go back in the circumstances as he’s leaving the scene anyway in a few weeks.
As for poor wee Neil’s gestures to the Gers fans at the end of the game, McLean, naturally, thought he “earned the right” to do it while even Nevin thought it was “stupid” and coward Dodds thought it was the “wrong time” to do it. Can you imagine if Ally ever does it at Parkhead?
We’ve known how anti-Gers the Beeb’s sports dept has been for years and this disgraceful show simply reinforced that view in my opinion.
JAMES TRAYNOR
Listening to Fatso’s phone-in show after the Old Firm game, he was talking about the fans’ “good” behaviour but he cast doubt on the “wisdom” of Rangers Supporters Association having placed little Union Jacks on the seats of every stand where the Bears were sitting. Eventually, after talking round it for ages, he seemed to come to the conclusion that...well....actually...it might be alright as it IS the flag of our country and maybe you shouldn’t stop a club having its country’s flag on display. Hey...talk about progress? As for other stuff, some idiot texted him to tell him that they had heard The Famine Song being sung. Absolute lies! It was the tune but sung to the words of Allan McGregor. Meanwhile, unlike me and the other Gers fans, nobody seems to have heard IRA songs, “God bless the Pope” and the national anthem of a foreign country that, until recent times, was hostile to the UK. Where were the much-publicised “snatch squads”? Well, at least our fans can’t be castigated for their songs but, of course, none of the hacks will mention the away fans.
PETER HOUSTON and GARY KENNETH
Even In the world of football, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve read as many outright lies and / or nonsense as I did from these 2 newcomers to the Order in the wake of Utd having conceded 3 penalties and having 3 players sent off against the Gers.
First, big donkey, Kenneth. He claimed that for the first and second penalty he was “back on the line so they weren’t last man challenges”!!!!! Showing a complete ignorance of the laws of the game, he doesn’t realise that it is “a goal-scoring opportunity” that is the required element in such a decision. So, it wouldn’t matter if he was “on the line”. Anyway, for the second penalty, he WASN’T on the line – at least NOT when the foul took place. If you see it on tv, just watch where Kenneth is when Jelavic is fouled on the edge of the box. He is LEVEL with the foul but around 6 yards to the right of it. As Jelavic goes down, Kenneth keeps on trundling towards the goal and, by the time the ref has his red card out Kenneth is standing on the goal-line!!!! So he’s a LIAR!
As for the penalty foul on Diouf by Gomis, Kenneth claims that Diouf was “ 5 yards outside the back post and it is going to be hard to score from there.” LIES! Watch it again and you’ll see that Diouf was right on the 6 yard line, within the back post, with the easiest of headers. Even numpty Kenneth would have headed it into the net from there. Any player missing such a header would get dog’s abuse from his fans.
Which leads me to his manager: Houston described the Diouf foul this way: “ A cross comes into the box and you have 2 players coming together”...er...no...Gomis pushed Diouf in the back as he was about to have a free header at an empty goal. Then Houston says “ Maybe it’s a nudge by Gomis but is it a straight red?”....er....yes...that’s the law...he’s been denied a “goal-scoring opportunity”!!!! Then Houston gives HIS version of the second penalty / sending off. “ He (Jelavic) has knocked it past Sean ( Dillon) going away from goal. Is that deemed a straight red?” Liar!!! Jelavic took the pass from Whittaker well ahead of Dillon and ran towards the box with only the keeper to beat. He didn’t have to “knock it past” anybody as he was already in the clear! Dillon tackled him from behind as Jelavic raced straight towards the goal. Away and get your eyes tested, Houston. And I thought Levein was a bad loser!
I hope these two liars watch the television replays in the next day or two and feel ashamed of themselves but somehow I don’t think they will.
BILLY DODDS
This former Ranger ( and many other clubs) makes his debut in the Order after months of being tempted to include him. He joins that growing list of ex-Rangers who bend over backwards to be seen as unbiased when talking about the club with the result that they barely can bring themselves to defend Rangers or say a good word about the club. I almost included him on Thursday after hearing his “analysis” on the Beeb of the PSV game but he really annoyed me as I drove home from Hampden on Sunday and listened to his drivel then. I can’t remember all the nonsense that he talked but the most absurd comments came when he tried to justify the unjustifiable. They were discussing the fact that Mulgrew had only got a yellow card instead of a straight red when he fouled Jelavic just outside the box near the end of the game. Every man and his dug could see that it should have been red as the Gers player had beaten the defender and was about to run inside the box with only the keeper ahead of him, standing on the goal-line.
Dodds tried to justify Creep Thompson’s cowardly decision by claiming that it had to be “ a goal-scoring opportunity” in order for it to be a sending off and he didn’t think it had been. Dodds didn’t think that Jelavic would have scored from there. Firstly, Jelavic wouldn’t have shot from that position but would have gone closer to goal before shooting since there was no other player anywhere near him. Secondly, Jelavic had already scored a goal in the game from almost the same position ( a yard nearer maybe) and with the keeper coming off his line. If that wasn’t a goal-scoring chance then what is? Maybe Dodds thinks that players have to be a few feet out to score ( as he usually was during his mediocre career) Gers fans should let this guy know what we think of traitors like him any time he shows his weasley face anywhere near our club in future.
GRAHAM SPIERS
The bould bhoy makes a welcome return having not made in into the Order for quite a while. At the end of the RC phone-in, a sly Gers fan (well done) at the end of his questioning, managed to get in a sneaky question which was why Jock Stein, Celtic’s greatest manager, wasn’t offered a seat on their board when he was basically sacked in 1978. Spiers claimed that he “didn’t know the reason for this” apparently because he was too young and “wasn’t around” in those days. I know for a fact that this guy was about 16 then. However, “not being around” has never stopped Spiers repeatedly claiming that in the 60s there was an “institutional bias” in the SFA and among referees against Celtic. He has spoken about this umpteen times on radio, usually in response to the normal paranoid Celtic fans on the line. He ALWAYS speaks about it as if it is FACT and as if HE knows – after all, he was a mere child at the time!
His “ignorance” of the later Stein situation thus is strange. Every fan and his dug knew at that time WHY Stein wasn’t given a place on the Board. It was because he was a Protestant, plain and simple. Years before, when Stein was the reserve team coach at Parkhead, Chairman Robert Kelly had told him that he could never become the manager of the club – because he was a Protestant and so it was best for him to move on to another club where he could become a manager. Only when Celtic was at rock bottom and Stein had become a success at Dunfermline and Hibs, did Celtic bite the bullet and hire him.
So, why Spiers’ feigned ignorance of the Stein snub? Well, he would have had to admit that Celtic wasn’t the non-sectarian, all-inclusive club that he and Celtic hacks like to promote. Well done that Gers fan for making him squirm.
SCOTT BROWN
The Celtic captain makes it to the Order for the first time maybe....I can't remember. If so, that's a surprise. He makes it due to his "celebration" after scoring his goal in the Old Firm cup tie. Standing a couple of feet away from Diouf, with his arms outstretched, he was obviously hoping to provoke a reaction. He didn't thankfully....and rightly HE got booked for his trouble. The thought occurred to me that he is the PERFECT captain for this club: a NED for a captain; a NED for a manager; a NED for a Chairman. And Celtic fans try to take the moral high ground?
